College

I have not forgotten about this place!  College started back up on the 21st (a week ago!)  I'm still trying to get into the groove of things.  Between school work, doing my actual assignments, being mom, being domesticated, and fitting in INSANITY, it has been a challenge.  I haven't been doing Insanity every day because everything is so upside down right now, but I'm not worried about it.  If I start stressing over it, I will end up giving up completely.  I just need to develop a schedule for everything.  I did Insanity yesterday.  I planned on doing it today but 8pm is just too late in my book for it.  I think I should schedule it immediately after class.  Like, as soon as I get home, which is about lunch time every day except Fridays.  Then, I go directly to pick up Charlene at school (by 3pm).  It's really the only time it fits.  Every time I try to push it off to do "other" stuff, I end up like I am tonight.  8pm and now it's too late.

So my classes are interesting.  I am completely out of my element in the Islamic World Honor's Seminar.  Class participation is 25% of my grade.  I have to read 7 books for this class.  It looks to be about 1 book a week.  In addition to the books, I have to write 3 papers - 5 to 7 pages each.  I have to have a thesis.  The three "small" papers will add up to one big one at the end.  I also have to present a power point presentation.  I ALSO have to take part in a poster board convention where I present my research to faculty, students, and strangers.  I have to actually have a script or something for when people stop to look at my poster board.  Anyway, this entire class is one big ball of anxiety.  I hate talking in class.  I am completely ignorant when it comes to the Middle East.  However, the books we are reading are very informative.  But still.  Today I did my best to take part in the discussion.  We just finished book 1 yesterday.  I feel like things I share are so unintelligent but I refuse to lose points for class participation.  Some students never even said a word so at least I have one up on them!  So moving on, the power point is supposed to be on our research too.  I think that will be okay.  I keep telling myself it will be.  Writing these papers though may prove to be difficult.  I am already trying to come up with a good topic.  I am considering women's issues but I suspect many other girls in the class are already heading in that direction.  I may steer toward al-Qaeda but I just dont know.  Maybe after this second book is finished, I will have a better idea.

My on-line class - Infectious Diseases - seems like it's going to be alright.  The professor seems like a nice lady and the assignments don't appear to be too strenuous.  I think ANY on-line class will be "easy" after taking Psychology fall 2012.  That was the most brutal on line class I had ever taken.  Got an A, but still.  I rightfully earned that grade.

Speaking of grades, I submitted the last of my Art assignments 8 days ago.  She said, "I will correct these as soon as possible and update your grade."  Well, I don't know what her idea of ASAP means.  I don't want to be that student and email her about it but I don't want her to forget about it either.  Not sure how long I should wait before I say something.  I am worried the Rad Tech committee will see that big ugly F and deny my application.  Even though it stands with all A's.  Clearly, without even knowing what happened, something went wrong.

So I am again a supplemental Instructor for A&P1.  I feel much more confident this semester.  On Friday I woke up 2 hours early and designed a fun handout to give the class as a way of introducing myself and what SI is all about.  Right now I am waiting for rooms to be assigned so I can finally start holding my sessions.

Anyway, this semester will be interesting.  I think as the semester progresses, I will fall into my groove with the Seminar class.  Though I will add, it feels nice to be in a room full of students who WANT to be there.  And this girl who sits next to me was telling me her 4.0 was crushed last semester by a Micro Bio class because she got an A-!!!  I was like, OMG me too!!!  My 4.0 was crushed because I got an A- in A&P2!!!!  Finally, someone I can relate with, without sounding stuck up or bragging or whatever.  I always sense other people don't really care when I talk about school/my classes/grades but these things are VERY important to me.  It's like anything that helps me feel better about myself and who I am as a person is somehow BAD towards someone else.  Or other people really, truly have no idea how to be happy for someone else's accomplishments.  I am proud of how far I've come and what I've done.  I'm proud I'm taking my first ever Honor's course.  I'm still in shock mode - still feeling as if I don't belong but I have worked hard to be where I am.  Last night I went back over all my old transcripts from other colleges and I used a GPA calculator... even with all my other courses from other colleges combined, I'm still sitting at a 3.7 GPA.  Let me remind you all I failed classes every year from 7th grade til 12th.  I took summer school.  I was in the lowest level of English classes in HS.  I repeated classes.  I was in the bottom 5 of the class (counting gpa) when I graduated.  I was no one and I was going nowhere.

So that's why I share my accomplishments now.   Maybe even possibly inspire someone else who feels "they can't" do something because I am living proof that they can.  I can.

Week 2 ; Day 2 ----- Pure Cardio

I actually got this done tonight.  I pushed myself harder and my shins started to hurt.  I can't tell you how unhappy this makes me feel.  I don't understand why I am still having shin problem after all this time.  Tomorrow I am going to put down a non-skid rug and see if that helps.  I have an extra one from my kitchen.  I wear my sneakers, I do my best to land gently, but my floors are wooden.  This really better not be the start of them hurting again.  I am really getting into this Insanity thing.  This has really put a damper on my mood tonight.  I did finish tonight's workout though.  However I skipped the move where you're standing, then jump down into a pushup, then back up.  I cant be doing that with my back.  I tried a couple days ago or something and my lower back where my slipped discs are hurt.  A lot.  So I just did my version of pushups.  I am little sore now but I will be fine tomorrow.  The pain doesn't linger long anymore.

I'm still eating healthy.  However, I did have a small bowl of ice cream today.  Like half the amount I "normally" would.  With me eating healthy all the time, I doubt it will hurt me much.

Tomorrow's the first day of spring semester.  The Honor's Seminar looks very scary.  I am questioning this class hard.  I think there's 3 papers, 7 books to read, a power point presentation, and a poster board presentation.  That's all I remember off the top of my head.  All of this along with my Infectious Disease course, and my SI.  So essentially I replaced a super demanding class like A&P2 with another super demanding class.  And to think, for just a moment, I would have a slight "break" in the workload.  And truthfully, both of these courses aren't even required for my major.  I hope it will go well.  I would be lying if I said I wasn't scared.

I finished off Art 101 today.  It took a YEAR to the day to complete this.  It was last Spring semester's on line course, but like I mentioned, I took an Incomplete for it.  Had I known I only had the fall semester to complete it, I would have banged out the rest of the assignments over the summer while I WASNT busy.  I am just so relieved the class is done.  I just hope the grade is updated FAST.  REALLLY REALLLLYYY fast.  I don't even care what I get.  Well I do, but if I don't pull an A out of that class, I don't care.  I think the final exam I submitted today said that.  But we will see.

Week 2 ; Day 1 ---- Cardio Power & Resistance

I am SO happy I did this today.  I woke up feeling crappy still but with no head pain.  Stomach still felt off and I've definitely felt spacey and weak.  Well, I drank my coffee, ate my breakfast, and did it anyway.  I feel so much more alert now and ready to take on the day.  Maybe I'm just feeling "high" from working out, but I feel SO much better.

Blah blah.. this workout is hard.  Otherwise it wouldn't be insanity right?  I didn't pause it for extended breaks this time like I normally do at each 30 second break.  I think I only paused it once in the beginning.  I can't believe how fast time flies when I'm doing this.  Like it doesn't seem right that what feels like such little time is going to change my body.  I think starting week 3 I will do other exercise too.  Maybe a much lower impact video I find on youtube or something.  Just to throw in another workout.  Burn more calories... get hotter, faster lmao.

Well time to get motivated.  Sipping my protein smoothie then showering.  Charlene will be home soon and I gotta get her ready and stuff for her girl scout thing.  I should probably make lunch too.  I am overwhelmed by the amount of fruits and vegetables in my house.  I don't even know what to cook first.  Ah!

See you tomorrow for day 2!

ugh

I woke at 2am this morning.  This was after finally, for the first time in a very long time, making it to bed at a decent hour.  I was in bed by 9:30pm and our like a light before 10pm.  So of course I couldn't get that fantastic sleep I dreamed of.  2am was horrible.  I woke with the most horrible stomach pains.  It traveled up my chest and caused the worst indigestion.  It seriously wouldn't quit.  I was up and down from bed until about 5:30am when I decided to finally nibble on some food.  It helped enough for me to fall back to sleep, but you know what? I woke up an hour later for awhile.  Fell back to sleep and woke up at 8:30am.  Horrible, choppy sleep.  And to make matters worse, the stomach pain was back along with a nasty headache.

This freaking headache is relentless.  I've taken 7 Advil throughout the day which has kept it from transforming into a migraine.  Usually I don't need to take this many Advil if I catch it on time, which I did.  So it's very unusual that I still feel like crap.  It's 9pm and my head pain is "gone" but any sudden movements will bring it back.  I also fought that nasty tummy pain all day.  I didn't even eat dinner.  I'm not hungry.  I had an English muffin this morning, taco salad for lunch, and a yogurt later this evening.  I tried napping but couldn't fall asleep.  I've also been SO cold.. all day.  No amount of clothing, blankets, or head is helping me.

Obvious I didn't get to Insanity.  With head pain, there's no way.  I already feel like I want to vomit.  Insanity alone makes me feel that way so there would certainly be some throwing up if I did it tonight.  I'm not even worried about it.  Tomorrow is Sunday and it starts Week 2 on the schedule so I'm technically on track now.  Let's see if I can make it every day this week.  Should be exciting.

Well I think I'm going to try to read or something and try to get some sleep so I can get up nice and early tomorrow.  Hopefully I am feeling better.  Right now my body feels like it's spinning and wobbling.

Day 6 Plyometric Cardio Circuit

So do you know why I didn't do Insanity yesterday?  Because I pushed it off and said I'd do it later.  Well, look what happens when I say "later."  It doesn't get done.  So I need to do it AND not push it off.

This DVD makes my muscles hurt the most.  This DVD was day 2, which was a week and a day ago.  Between now and then, I found I could keep up "better."  In the week & 2 days I've been doing Insanity, I ALREADY feel a change in my body.  There's no change on the scale, but I don't expect there to be for another month.  I already feel as if I have more endurance.  If I already feel this way after a week+, I can only imagine how I will feel after the 60 days are through.  I think after this coming week, I'll be able to keep up with the schedule given... you know, 6 days a week, one rest day.  Considering I took yesterday off because I was lazy, I might just push on through and skip tomorrow's rest day.  Why not, right?

I pulled my left calf muscle stretching.  At least, I think that's when I pulled it.  I do my own series of stretches before I turn on the DVD.  I don't feel Shaun T does enough stretching for MY body.  I pay special attention to my back and make sure I stretch that all out.  I have slipped discs between the lumbar and sacral region of my spine and it is a bit sore now.  Stupid push-up combo moves!  I need work on push ups in the correct form so I don't injure myself further.

My body is sore (other than me injuring myself) but not like the first couple days.  This is hard, but I'm so happy I took this chance.  I cant wait to have more energy, have more strength, and look bad ass once summer arrives lmao.

*****non-insanity*****

Picked up 4 of my 7 books required for the Islamic World Seminar.  They're paperback books, like novels.  I actually started to read one last night when I went to bed.  I am highly intrested in Islam and this book, "no God but God" by Reza Aslan, tells the story of the origins, evolution, and future of Islam.  I look forward to reading more tonight at bed.

Going to Wal-Mart today.  Getting a Straight Talk chip for my Verizon phone.  I am SO excited to get rid of my $95/month bill.  I'm excited to have unlimited texting.  I only have 500 texts for non-verizon users and those go fast.  I end up chatting with people for half a month then disappear because I ran out of texts.  It really blows.  But it all changes now <3  I also need to pick up school supplies.

Tryin' to think of something healthy and yummy for dinner tonight.  This weekend is the last HOORAH before classes start on Tuesday.  I want to do something super fun with Charlene (my daughter.)  I'd take her to another movie but we JUST did that and there's nothing interesting playing.  I'll come up with something...

Not an Insanity Update

Not sure if I'm going to do it today but if I have time after I pick up Charlene, I will.  My body feels good and I'm okay to do it.  I just have A LOT to do during the day today.  You know what... I WILL do it today.  It will be early enough that my neighbor can't legally complain about the jumping.  I mean, I can't walk on eggshells around here because it might get his panties in a bunch.  So yeah.  When I get home later today I'm moving on to Day 6 :)  Tomorrow is a "rest day" anyway, according to the schedule.

Alright.  Anyway, just sitting here sipping my morning hazelnut coffee with milk.  I have a whole slew of things to do today.  For one, I need to go purchase 10 books for this semester.  8 of them alone are for ONE class!  I am taking an Islamic World Honor's Seminar and apparently I don't know what I'm getting myself in to.  I have a book voucher but I need a valid ID to use it.  Well my new license hasn't come in yet so it looks like I'm going to have to use cash.  I will get a check in the mail for the voucher if I don't use it so I do at least get reimbursed.  The other class I'm taking is Infectious Diseases on line.  My A&P professor told me the class will be too easy for me but now that I'm looking at the work load for the Seminar, I'm glad LOL!  With these two classes, I am also being the SI again for A&P1.  It's going to be another busy semester but it will all work out in the end.

Some of you already know and many don't, I have applied to the Radiologic Technology program for the Fall 2014.  It's super competitive and only 20 people are accepted yearly.  This is my second year applying but honestly it's my first year actually in the running.  The program requirements say that A&P 1&2 don't need to be completed to be accepted but what they dont TELL YOU is this... Because of the overwhelming amount of people applying, they won't even glance at the application if it's not done.  When decisions were made last year, I was only half way through A&P1.  Now that both classes are done, with an A and A-, I am absolutely in the running.  My only worry is that they will look at my application/grades before my Art 101 professor corrects my work.  Many of you know my father passed away last March and I took an Incomplete for the class.  I was initially told that I had a year to complete the work.  Well, in late November I found out I only had to the end of the next semester, which ended in a month from that time.  During this time span of a month, I completed most of the assignments, which one required me to go in to Boston to the Art Museum.  On December 17th, My "I" grade, which didn't affect my GPA, turned into an F.  I was horrified.  My 3.9 gpa turned in to 3.36gpa.  I have 5A's and 1 F.  Thankfully the professor can change that once the work is corrected.  I don't know why she hasn't started to correct it yet.  This has gone on for too long.  So anyway, I just need to finish the Art final and wait for my F to be replaced.  At this point, I don't even care what it's replaced with.  Anything is better than an F!

Anyway, I think a lot about what kind of job I will have once I finish the program.  I have to have this mindset because it helps keep me going.  I will be at a loss if I'm not accepted this year but I'm looking ahead anyways.  I will be licensed to take xrays.  Not gonna lie, that's not what I want to do with the rest of my life.  I did an observation at a hospital and got to observe CT scans.  I found them really interesting.  But the more and more I think about my life and what I want to accomplish, I don't know if CT scans are it.  I want to play a big role in the life of others.  I want to HELP people.  I want to know I am making a difference.  The more I thought about it, the more I think about my dad and his cancer.  I want to help families who are and had gone through a similar situation.  So now I'm considering Radiation Therapist.  Same schooling as I would be going through for Rad Tech.  It's just a specialty.  I want to help and be there for people who are going through cancer.  I think this would be something I would be good at.  It also seems much more fulfilling than standing behind an xray machine for the next 30 years of my life.  Obviously these aren't decisions I need to make now but it's nice to toss ideas around and get my mind going.

Alright, coffee cup is empty so I must go.  I will update later after my workout.

Day 5 Pure Cardio....

...is for the birds.

Wow!  I'm just gonna say it.  THAT sucked!  That was the most intense workout I've ever had.  I wasn't expecting NO scheduled "breaks."  Seriously, totally nuts.  The people in the video were dropping like flies.  I did my best to keep up.  I obviously had to take breaks.  Gotta love the pause button.  But wow.  If any workout is a cardio workout... this is it.  Hands down.

One thing I've noticed so far is I'm getting through the warm ups better.  At least today I feel that way.  The warm up went more smoothly than the others so far.  Pretty surprising since I'm only on Day 5.  One week ago today is when I started.  I'm doing awesome with keeping it up.  I almost took today off until I googled Hump Day pics to post on Facebook.  The overwhelming amount of nice bums flooding my screen motivated me to do it today.  As silly as that sounds, it's true.  Sigh.

Well, I do have some non-Insanity things to talk about but for now I have to get going.  I will update again later :)  Hopefully I move on to day 6 tomorrow :)

Insanity Day 4

I had NO IDEA this was a stretching/recovery workout today.  While I knew it said "recovery," I found my idea of recovery and Shaun T's idea of recovery are completely different lmao.  I was pleasantly surprised there was no repetitive jumping today.  Not saying today was EASY, but my heart rate was definitely more in check.  The stretching was nice.  I am feeling it everywhere.  I am so happy to know there's a day like today halfway through the "week."  Honestly I thought it was straight INSANITY for 6 days.  This definitely breaks it up.

Yesterday I portioned 6 bags of green grapes and 10 bags of baby carrots.  Right now I'm drinking a protein smoothie I made.  I've been drinking one immediately after each workout.  According to the Elite nutrition guide, I should be consuming 1700 calories or so a day for weight loss.  However I don't know if I'm actually burning 600 calories per workout.  That seems like a lot.  That's an hour on the elliptical, ya know?  It would be handy if I had a heart rate monitor / calorie counter thing.  I think I will purchase one when my tax return money comes in.  It will help me make that calorie intake a little more accurate.  I so calculated is as if I'm burning 500 calories, not 600.  So that's where 1700 came from.

I think it's time for lunch now.  I will probably eat a leftover cabbage roll and some fresh carrots with hummus.  My body is sore but I'm ready to take on day 5 tomorrow!  Booya!

This was today

Insanity Day 3

Well it's Monday.  Friday was supposed to be Day 3 but I updated this here journal to say I was taking the day off to recover.  I had full intentions of doing day 3 on Saturday.  Saturday rolled around and the following happened.  Woke up.  Got ready for my daughter's late morning gymnastics.  After that was over, we came home and we weren't here very long.  Shortly later we headed out to her friend's house so they could work on a Girl Scout project together.  I figured I would come home and do my workout after dinner (if I stayed with her at her friends) or drop her off, come home, do my workout, and then do some Art 101 assignments.  Well, I ended up staying there the entire afternoon!  We literally did not walk through our front door until 10pm!!!  At that point it was too late.  So I said, "tomorrow then."  No biggie.

Tomorrow rolled around and I invited my mother and Pete over for dinner.  I had to go to the grocery store to get ingredients.  Came home and had to prepare the stuffed cabbage rolls in the crock pot.  Then I spent the entire afternoon cleaning up my house.  During this time I forgot to eat.  I was too busy working around the house.  Well, the lack of food had thrown off my blood sugar.  I was feeling sick and no amount of orange juice was helping me out.  Anyway, we ate dinner at 5:30pm (just my daughter and I, they didn't end up coming) and I sat on the couch and fell asleep.  Every time my blood sugar goes wonky, I get overwhelmingly exhausted and pass out.  It's not good.  So around 8:30pm I started feeling better.  I REALLY wanted to do Day 3 of Insanity.  However, my upstairs neighbor was home.  I live in a house about 140 years old.  All my floors are wooden and I do the workouts in my bedroom since it's the biggest space.  Well, with all the jumps and stomps, it shakes the house.  Knowing him, he will either knock on my door or start stomping around himself, or slamming the front door in the morning.  So here we are.  Monday and Day 3 is finally done.

The workout:

Well let's see.  Right now I'm less sore than I was on Day 2.  I did take 3 Advil beforehand so maybe that's why.  I liked today because I got to use my arms.  I can't do a real push up but I use the bars and my knees.  I improvise on some of the moves.  Eventually I will be able to do the moves properly but I'm am surely not going to beat myself up over it right now.  This round of Insanity, to me, is just to do what I CAN do.  I'm not trying to keep up or kill myself to the extreme these people do.  Which they can, because they've been clearly exercising regularly.  After this round is over, (at my pace), I will do it again.  I am sure at that point doing it 6 days a week will be much more doable.  I will be stronger and faster.  As long as I am physically improving, I don't care.  As long as I'm doing my best.

Since I don't feel dead today, I plan on moving on to Day 4 tomorrow.  I have been healthy eating for a week now.  I have had NO slip ups!  I am still portioning my food and keeping it healthy.  I am very proud I've kept it up.  I'm the queen of giving up and so far, so good.  My determination is strong this time.  I have been working so hard on improving over aspects of my life.  The way I feel about myself is holding me back so every day is one step in the right direction.  I need to feel good about myself again.  I need to lessen this overwhelming daily anxiety over everything.  And yes, only I can make these changes.  See you tomorrow :)

Not today

I'm taking today off from Insanity.  Today would be Day 3 but it's going to be tomorrow instead.  My lower body muscles are in rough shape.  I can't jump into this as if I've been regularly working out up until this point.  I have lead a very sedentary life for awhile now.  Going from 0 to 60 is not the right move.  I am not upset I can't follow this round of Insanity perfectly.  I need to do it at my own pace to avoid injury.  An injury is what got me into this mess to begin with.  I was running for awhile and doing fabulous at it.  However I ran too much, too fast, and without enough time to allow my body to recover.  I was running 7-8 minute miles.  I pushed too hard and got the WORST shin splints ever.  These were sore to the touch.  I couldn't even walk properly and would sting and shoot pain up my legs while I was relaxing.  Common sense would suggest to take it easy and lay off my legs for a bit.  Unfortunately I was unable to.  It was the beginning of summer and I was working 10 hours shifts at Dunkin Donuts on my feet.  Summer and Dunkins = very busy.  I was constantly running.  During a time when I didn't have these shin splits, I would come home in a lot of pain still.  So to add these ridiculous shin splits to my regular 10 hour day of constantly running, I was in rough shape.  They never healed.  I have tried running since then and I can't.  The pain comes back.  The pain started early summer 2012 and now, almost two years later, I still can't run.  So I refuse to damage my body again so I'm taking this first round of Insanity at my own pace.  Maybe in a couple weeks I will have the endurance to do it 6 days a week like it's meant to be done.

I don't plan to sit all day though.  I will be busting out my hand weights and doing a bit of that since it's my lower body that is absolutely killing me.  Those moves that require starting in a squat position and jumping up and down has destroyed my legs.  Today will entail lots of stretching too.

Later I will update what I actually chose to do.  But for now, I've got to get on with my day.

Day 2 - Plyometric Cardio Circuit

I see why people lose a lot of weight when they do this program.  I had been warned Insanity is hard.. and there's no denying that.  I really don't have a whole lot to say other than these random comments.

• I am glad the moves are "easy."  I mean they aren't complicated, long drawn out moves that lose me.  I know how to do it.  However that doesn't mean I can do nearly as many as those fit people.
• I like how they're repeated.  Helps learn and do them properly.
• Keep your core tight.  That might apply to people who actually HAVE a core.  I have a center, but it's full of jello, booze, and Chinese food.
• Rest periods aren't long enough for me.  One thing about the DVD is that it can be paused.  And boyyy did I ever pause.  A lot.  
• Swear words.  I've gotten familiar with them.
• I do my own stretching before the warm-up.  Very glad I did.
• The push up bars are awesome.  I wouldn't have been able to half-ass the floor moves without them.  A+ purchase on my end.
• I'm hungry.  I showered and had to sit for awhile because my muscles in my legs were shaking.  Spazzing out, man.  I am in for a lot of pain later on this evening.
• Healthy eating is going superbly.  Right now I just finished off a portioned size of carrots and hummus.  I buy bags of carrots then divide them into baggies in their proper portioned size.  I also do this with green grapes, multigrain chips, and pistachios.  It helps tremendously in preventing over-eating.
• Sucking down a protein shake I created in the kitchen.  It's not bad.  I added vanilla protein powder, frozen strawberries, a dash of skim milk, greek yogurt, and a dash of Ovaltine because I was craving chocolate.  
• Looking forward to DAY 3 tomorrow.

This is what I did today.

DAY 1 - Fit Test

The fit test was hard.  I wasn't sure what to expect but def got my ass kicked.  I have 2 slipped discs in my lower back that was caused by a move almost identical to the suicide jumps so I didn't do them.  I ran in place instead.  I couldn't do the push-up jacks either because of my wrists.  I didn't take out my floor push up bars I recently purchased.  I didn't realize I needed them for this.  I should have looked ahead.  Anyway, I was shaky and felt sick during the first 4 moves.  I had to pause it for an extra minute or so after the 3rd or 4th move.  I couldn't take it anymore.  I am so out of shape.

I took my measurements today.  I am not impressed with the numbers, that's for sure.  I'm not posting my measurements until I have lost some inches.  I will take my measurements weekly, along with my weight.  My weight is higher than I expected.  I suppose that's going to be the case since I've done nothing but sit around for awhile now.  I am embarrassed.  Completely.  I haven't weighed this much in years.  No one's fault but mine.I also took my "Before" pics.  If any photos are unflattering, these top the cake.  I can't wait to post them next to my progress photos.  I cant wait to see progress.

Here are my scores from Day 1 - FIT TEST

Now it's time to google healthy meal ideas for the food I bought Monday.  It's been a very productive week so far.  Monday I grocery shopped.  Tuesday I cleaned my house, did a million loads of laundry, put the laundry away, prepared stuffed peppers for the crock pot, and ran some errands.  Today I got the oil changed in my car.  Renewed my license at the RMV.  Did day 1 of Insanity.  Shortly it's time to leave for my daughter's extracurricular activity.  See you tomorrow :)

The INSANITY has arrived.. on time!

So it finally came!  I curiously opened the box and explored its intriguing contents.  I was instantly struck with fear and excitement over what's to come.  Today's the first day of the rest of my life.  Literally and figuratively ;)

Before I begin, I have a few things on my mind to sort out.  I am 100% aware I will not be able to keep up with Shaun T.  He's an extreme bad ass and I on the other hand, am a fat ass.  No really, I am and I've accepted that reality.  It is what it is and I only have myself to blame.  On the other hand, I am the only one who can change it.  Change starts now.

My body (and maybe other people's as well) is dysfunctional.  Ten years ago I lost weight very easily.  All through childhood, teens, early adult; all the way until I struck my 25th birthday.  I remember when I reached 110 lbs I knew I had to go for more walks and the weight melted back off.  I haven't seen that weight since 2005. But something inside myself went off like a time bomb.  Maybe it was an accumulation of unhealthy eating habits and poor choices that led me to where I am today.

I haven't taken my measurements or weight yet.  Currently I am sipping coffee and plan on eating a light breakfast soon so my blood sugar is stable.  I don't expect to lose any weight in the first month so I'm not looking for instant results.  I know my body and I don't have the type that melts off fat at the first sight of exercise.  A couple years ago when I started running, I was running at least 3 days a week.  It took at least 6-8 weeks before the scale moved and once it began to decline, it just didn't stop.  Even after I stopped running, I continued to lose weight.  I need another jump start on my metabolism.

Another reason I am excited for this is to help with my anxiety.  It is getting worse.  My body is in constant flight or fight mode which is BAD.  I am constantly on edge.  My chest is constantly tight.  I have constant feelings of dread all day.  It is magnified when I am tired.  I am always scared, worried, and full of anxiety.  I am tense.  I refuse to seek medication for this but it is becoming increasingly worse as the days go on.  I am relying on good old fashioned exercise to help ease some of this stress that has been put on my body and mind.  I can't handle feeling a constant gnawing of impending doom.  It is enough to drive anyone to a psych ward.

Lastly, I don't want diabetes.  I was diagnosed with pre-diabetes last summer and I need to kick my ass in gear and jump on the life-long health wagon.  Losing weight by exercise and eating the right foods is the only way to go.  There's no need for the latest popular diet or restricting everything I love.   Due to my recent diagnoses, I do need to cut out sugary foods and unnecessary carbs.  I don't expect to be perfect today, or every day rather, and I know I will slip here and there; but my health is reliant on my choices and those choices are 100% in my control.  So here we are... Ready, Set, GO!

Welcome!!!

Welcome to my *new* blog!  It's a new year and a wonderful time to start fresh!  This blog will touch lightly on my life and heavily on my new fitness journey!  After doing some research, I found committing to a public blog will hold me accountable for all I set out for, especially in my new fitness journey.  I have recently purchased Beachbody's Insanity program and I am struggling to hold in my excitement of its impending arrival.  I will use this site for daily/almost daily updates of the program and my progress.  I will update with before/during/after photos of my physical progress.  I have a long journey ahead - lifetime!!!  Last summer I was diagnosed with pre-diabetes so it's only right I head down a new path that leads me to a healthier lifestyle.  January 9th 2014 is my tentative start date. Stay tuned :-)